Time Flies...

Sorry for my absence you wonderful bloggy friends! I have missed you all! Life has a serious way of getting in my way sometimes, and I am just now getting a chance to stop, take a breath, and catch up. (And by catch up I mean read the 430 blog posts that are stacking up in my reader, redo a little blog and website designing, and get back into the swing of semi-normal life!)

Lets see...what's been going on around here?

The Road: First of all, you might notice some blog changes. I am incredibly A.D.D. and O.C.D. when it comes to my blog. I have spent more hours than I care to count combing the web for the PERFECT blog layout. Then I spend more time tweaking little things...my widgets and links, buttons and sidebars. I drive myself crazy with it. I settled on this layout today (finally!) even though it's a Thanksgiving theme, because I love the colors and the words "Give Thanks" on it. It's a subtle little nudge everytime I open my blog to be thankful and live with gratitude. (I'm not totally hip to the "dinner at Grandma's" type photo idea, but I can't do anything about it, so I'm rollin' with it).
Next, I have added a couple different buttons to my sidebar. Over there to the right you'll see a section called "Snag A Button". They are both for you to take if you so choose. One links to this blog, and the other links to my Women's Prayer Ministry website. Feel free to grab them. And please, if you feel moved to do so, visit/join my ministry site and pass it on to anyone you believe would like to join.
Under the buttons, there are two scrolling marquees. These are people I follow. "IF friends" are my infertility blogging buddies, and "Women of Faith" are some really insightful Christian women bloggers/sites I've come across lately. If you have a blog button and I haven't snagged it for my marquees, PLEASE notify me! I would LOVE to have it!!!
Up top, right below the header, are three page tabs. "My Journey" details the origin of this blog. "The Bookshelf" chronicles my insane addiction to books. :) "My Women's Ministry" page explains the genesis of Let Me Sow Love: A Meeting Place For Christian Women, my prayer ministry website.
And last but certainly not least, over on the left sidebar are links to my Ravelry page and Twitter. Add me to either or both, if you so choose!

Work: I was switched crews a couple of weeks ago, so instead of working my usual 28 days of dayshift, I worked 14 days of dayshift, then went back to nightshift for the other 14 days. Now I have this weekend (Fri, Sat, Sun) off and will start another 28 days of dayshift beginning Monday morning. The quick turn from days to nights a couple weeks ago, coupled with the changing season has me upside down and topsy turvy. I'm lucky to remember what day it is and if I put on clean underwear!
For those of you who are newcomers to The Road, I work as a 9-1-1 dispatcher. Yes, it is a crazy job; stressful, long hours, dealing with the crazy public and even crazier cops! But, it is also a very fulfilling job. I love that in doing what I do I am able to fulfill my calling to help others in some way. Whether it be as serious as talking someone through CPR on a loved one, dispatching an officer to a fight in progress or domestic disturbance, staying on the phone with a scared citizen who believes there might be someone in their home, calming a suicidal subject down until the officers and paramedics can get there to help them...or as minor as giving a caller the phone number to the jail...I serve someone in their time of need. Trust me, there are days I feel like burying my head under the covers and not dealing with the craziness, but there are always moments in every shift that make it worth it to leave my husband and family for 12 hours a day, weekends, nights, and holidays. And that's what keeps me going. My work schedule is one that confuses even me. On dayshift I work 6am to 6pm, and on nightshift, 6pm to 6am. There are a couple of short days thrown in there to even it out to 40 hrs a week...sometimes I'll work 3 12's and a 4 hour day, sometimes 2 12's and 2 8's...it all depends on what the staffing needs are on that particular week. The good thing about my schedule is that I always have every other weekend Friday thru Sunday off, and every other Wednesday/Thursday off. Makes it a lot easier to schedule doctor's appointments, family get-togethers, etc.

Health: This has been a struggle lately. About 3 weeks or a month ago, I came down with a severe sinus infection/upper respiratory infection. It kicked my butt, I tell ya what! I finally kicked it, and by the time I felt halfway human, Matt picked it up. With him being diabetic and having a compromised immune system (he has blood disorders called thrombocytopenia and leukopenia; basically his spleen is enlarged and "eats" the majority of his white blood cells, so he can't fight infection as well as someone without it, and his blood doesn't clot well), any sickness hits him HARD. His sinus infection/URI turned into bronchitis and he was in bad order for a while. We're both over that now, thank goodness!
And, last week sometime I began having serious lower back pain. As in could barely move, felt like someone was stabbing me in the butt, call off work and lay in my recliner for three days back pain. I went to the local urgent care and the doctor there "diagnosed" me with a probable slipped disc and muscle sprain. I was given muscle relaxers and painkillers and sent home to rest. I didn't truly believe there was a slipped disc (first of all he didn't do any x-rays, MRI, nothing to actually SEE a disc problem). So I called a chiropractor and went in last Monday for an exam and adjustment. He took x-rays and did a much more thorough exam than the urgent care doctor did, and performed several adjustments on my lower back. After he read the x-rays, he told me I did not in fact have a slipped disc...the problem was that my pelvis was seriously tilted forward and much higher on the left than on the right. This was what was causing the pain, because in tilting and rotating it was pinching off the nerves on the left side of my spine in the pelvic region. The muscle pain was from my body unconsciously trying to overcompensate for my pelvis being off-kilter. So, I'm on a regimen of scheduled adjustments and pelvic exercises to get it back in place and strengthen the muscles to keep it in alignment. When I first went in to the chiro, I was afraid he was going to take one look at me and blame the pain all on my weight (as every doctor I've been to blames everything on...pain, my PCOS, my infertility, you name it doctors have blamed my weight for it). Now, I'm not an unintelligent person. I realize I'm overweight. By more than a few pounds. But I've hovered around my current weight for several years (unfortunately), and have NEVER had such severe sudden onset of back pain EVER. I explained this to him and he stopped me in my tracks. He looked at me and said "Skinny people have back problems too. Their spines and pelvises get out of alignment too. You think only overweight people need chiropractic care?" That made me feel so much better! He even said he's sure that I realize that my weight doesn't make it any easier on my back, and that losing some would certainly help, but that it wasn't the CAUSE of my pelvis getting torqued. Anything could have happened to do that. And I do realize that I need to lose a substantial amount of weight for many reasons. And I am trying. My PCOS and untreated thyroid condition make it so very hard though. (And I say "untreated" because every doctor I've gone to has refused to treat my hypothyroidism. Bastards.) Anyway...long story short (too late!), I'm on the road to recovery from that and actually can't wait til I can get back to the gym and get some of this nasty blubber off me!

PCOS: Speaking of the bane of my existence, I really need to get this under control. A few months back, I was notified by my husband and mom of a webchat with a prominent St. Louis fertility specialist. I logged on and chatted with him and several other women for a while. He is AMAZING! I had asked him if he believed in the link between PCOS, thyroid problems, and infertility. He amazed me and said yes, there is a HUGE link between all three! No one ever wanted to believe me before (even after printing out research on it and shoving it in their faces!). He said that he wanted me to make an appointment because he wanted to get me going on treatment. He specializes in PCOS, and is a leading doc in the country for infertility issues/IVF/ICSI. Whodathunkit? Right here in my own backyard...a FAMOUS infertility doc?!?!?! I still have yet to make the appointment...don't know why. I think I'm scared.

Church: With all the aforementioned issues going on, we haven't been to church in over a month, and we're both starting to miss it! If it wasn't me on nights, it was me sick, then Matt sick, then me injured...we're going to church this Sunday come Hades or high water! LOL
I also need to get back into a routine of Bible reading/focused prayer time. When I was doing that I felt so much more centered, more peaceful, more connected to God. I miss that. I know that He is always there, and He is ready to listen...I just haven't made the time lately to talk to Him.

Knitting: I'm currently working on another pair of socks. Imagine that! I love sock-knitting. I don't know why, but they're some of my favorite projects to make. This time I'm learning a few different techniques (for you non-knitters this will be gibberish, so feel free to gloss over this section!). The first was a provisional cast-on with crochet chain. After watching a couple YouTube video tutorials, it was pretty much no big deal. The only problem was that I couldn't get my provisional stitches to "unzip" the way they're supposed to, so I had to "uncrochet" all of them. That was a pain in my ample backside, let me tell ya. That led into the next new technique: socks from the toe up using a short row toe. I have no earthly idea HOW this works, and if I had the option to explain how the short rows make the little toe pocket or sleep on a bed of nails...lets just say I'd have to buy stock in Band-Aid for all the little puncture wounds on my back. That's how clueless I am of the workings of short rows. Don't know how they work, don't really care to...all I know is that with a few wraps of the yarn and several turns of your work, VOILA! You have what looks like a little pocket for the toe of your sock. It's a little bit of knitting magic, really. I'll post some pics in the next few days of my progress on the current sock...I think you're gonna love it!

Holy jeebus! This was intended as a short "where I've been/what I've been up to" catch up post! Well, that idea flew out the window about 1000 words ago, didn't it?

I do hope you're all doing well. Please fill me in on the goings-on in your lives if I've missed an important post. And, if you or anyone you know has a prayer need or request, let me know. I feel very moved to pray for others and will add every request to my daily prayers.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!!

Sorry for the mess, I'm redoing a few things here...

We'll be back to our regularly scheduled ramblings shortly!

Well, at least I accomplished one thing this weekend...

The Open Rib socks are complete!

• Pattern: Open Rib from Sensational Knitted Socks by Charlene Schurch.
• Yarn: Premiere Yarns Serenity Sock Yarn in color Chili (although to me they look more like Christmas candies!)
• Needles: Size US 2 dpn's
• Made for: Me!
• Pattern notes: Overall I'm really happy with this pattern. This was the first time in making socks that I carried the pattern all the way down the instep to the toes, and even though it was a little tedious, I like the look (we'll see if I like the feel when I wear them with shoes! LOL). I also opted for a three-needle bind off for the toes because I loathe kitchener stitch/toe grafting. This is also the reason my next project is socks from the toe up with a provisional cast-on/short row toe. =)

In other news...well, there's not a lot to report.

I'm a little, OK a LOT melancholy and weepy tonight. I don't know why. I have felt on the verge of tears all night long and can't really put a finger on the reason, aside from some frustration with the way some things are going. Namely:

• Being indefinitely in a holding pattern regarding TTC.
• My husband being out of work since last Christmas, with only one job offer that didn't pan out because of his disability (severe vision impairment).
• My prayer ministry forum going absolutely nowhere. I know it's new, and I know that it hasn't really had a chance to take off, but I felt such a calling to do this, and I'm beginning to question whether it was really what God wanted me to do. I mean, you put your heart and soul and time into creating something and it goes nowhere...it's just kind of depressing.
• Being changed crews at work (which means I am going back on nights starting Monday, will be on nights for two weeks, then back to days for a month unless I get changed again. You wouldn't think so, but such changes take a toll on a person).

I know these things are out of my control, so I know I shouldn't get worked up about them, but sometimes you just can't help it. If you are the praying kind, say a few extras for me, OK?

I was on a mission...

and have emerged VICTORIOUS!!!

My mission was simple...or not so simple, depending on how much you understand about these things. (Which until about 10 minutes ago, I understood NOTHING!!!)

I needed to add a button advertising my prayer ministry forum, complete with "grabbable" code. Yeah, I didn't get it either.

After several hours, several choice expletives, a lot of fist banging on the desk, I FINALLY have a button!!!

Lookie!

Down there in the left sidebar!




What's that? You see TWO buttons???

Hee hee hee!

That's the victorious part!!!

One's for linking to my prayer ministry forum, the other is for linking to this blog.

Damn I love it when I think I can't do things then set off on a mission and prove to myself that yes, in fact, I CAN!!!

My moment of happy for the day...

Show & Tell: Toasty toes

Welcome to show and tell!!!

I usually don't share pics of my knitting projects until they're done, but since a) nothing very exciting is going on, and b) I'm seriously in love with these socks, I figured I'd break my rule for Show and Tell this week. I have the first one done and am furiously working on getting the second one done this weekend.

So...that's my Show and Tell for this week.

What's yours?

I hope you'll play along and tell your friends all about it! It will be open on Thursday mornings and close at midnight Sunday night each week. Here's how you participate:

• between thursday and sunday night, write up your own show and tell blog post.
• grab the url of your show and tell post
• visit Suzy's blog!
• use the linky tool below to enter your blog name and url of your show and tell.
• then visit the show and tell posts of others and let them know you were there.
• just copy and paste, and you can even have some bling to put the chalkboard on your blog too!

Why Saturday needs a spanking...

So...yeah.  Yesterday blew. 

Not the whole day.

Just the part from 6pm on.

I worked yesterday, (I work 12 hour shifts and am on days, so that meant 6am to 6pm).

I went to leave, and got halfway down the mammoth hill we have at my work, and noticed a huge rock in the middle of the road.  I swerved to miss said rock, and instead wound up hitting it head on with my right front tire. 

Yes.

You guessed it.

Said tire blew instantly.

After a few colorful expletives (after which I had to ask for forgiveness as I'm trying very hard to not do that anymore), I finally got the car down to the flat part of the road and got out to check the car. 

Yep.  Tire was flatter than a pancake.

After a few more colorful expletives I set to the task of hauling the spare, jack and tire iron out of the trunk.  We live about 20 miles from my work, so I didn't want Matt to have to come help me change the tire if I could at all avoid it.  And, let's face it, I'm stubborn.  I can change a dang tire.

Well, apparently the jack hadn't been used since Jesus was in diapers, because the dang thing was a pain in my ample backside to get started.  I called up to my work and asked the supervisor to call one of the tow companies we work with (I'm a dispatcher for 9-1-1...the job does have it's benefits!) to see if they could come help me. 

And I started crying. 

Which I hate.

When I get frustrated I cry.  Can't help it.  It's how I'm made.

So...I decided to prove to myself and everyone else that yes, I could indeed change the stupid tire myself.

About a half an hour and several bucketloads of sweat later, hands blackened from brake dust, grease and dirt from the jack, I had the spare tire on. 

I called my work back and told them to cancel the tow truck, that I had the tire on and would be on my way.

I threw the blown tire, jack, and tire iron back into the trunk and get in the car to head home. 

What's that?

What happened then, you say?

I drove 50 feet and the DAMN SPARE TIRE WENT FLAT TOO!!!

I give up at this point, call Matt and break down.  He turns off dinner (he was making homemade spaghetti for me), loads my stepson up, and comes galloping up on his noble white steed, sword drawn, ready to slay the dragon that is my tire dilemma. 

Ok, so he drove up in his black 4 door with his phone in hand making sure he didn't miss the turn to my work.  But you get the picture. 

Since we have the same make and model of car, we took the crap spare off, put his good spare on my car, loaded back up again and headed home.

At 8:30 I walked in the door.  2 hours and 30 minutes AFTER I got off work. 

Thank GOD Sunday behaved a million times better than Saturday did.  :)

Two tires blown in one day:  2.5 hours time lost.

Unplanned dinner out for 2 adults and 1 child:  $20.39.

Having a husband that will drop everything at your beck and call to come rescue you:  PRICELESS!

Show & Tell: Answering A Call...

Welcome to Show and Tell.  I hope you'll play along and tell your friends all about it! It will be open on Thursday mornings and close at midnight Sunday night each week.  here's how you participate:

• between thursday and sunday night, write up your own show and tell blog post.


• grab the url of your show and tell post.


• visit suzy's blog! 


• use the linky tool below her show and tell post to enter your blog name and url of your show and tell.


• then visit the show and tell posts of others and let them know you were there


• just copy and paste, and you can even have some bling to put the chalkboard on your blog too!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A while back I wrote this post.  I wasn't ready at that time to discuss the amazing "God Moment" that I just had.  But, after a lot of work, a lot of prayer, and a lot of nail-biting "am I ready to put this out there what if someone makes fun of me" moments, I'm ready to unveil the labor of love I've been working on.

After some serious prayer and finally listening to what God was impressing upon my heart, I have launched a new website.  It is a message board forum for Christian women to support and encourage each other on our daily walks with God through prayer and sharing. 

The site is called "Let Me Sow Love: A Meeting Place for Christian Women" .   
 
I felt a strong calling to develop a prayer ministry for women, especially women facing infertility.  I feel this is something I'm supposed to do.  Several months ago I met some wonderful women through a web chat and formed an immediate bond and we started a prayer "email chain".  I have never felt a pull as strong to do something than when I began praying daily for these women.  I don't have many resources, I don't have a lot of time to donate as a volunteer, but what I do have is powerful.  I have a desire, and a capability to pray.  And that is what I'm offering.

The website isn't *only* for women facing infertility, but I want it to be a site where infertile women can feel comfortable.  There are a zillion "Christian Mommy" sites out there, and while that is awesome and totally serves a valid need and community, I feel there is a need for a space where the focus isn't so much on our titles or reproductive status.  This site will simply be a site for Christian WOMEN to meet, exchange ideas, encourage and support each other, receive encouragement and support, and learn more about God and faith journeys from other incredible Christian women.  While I understand the "mommy" factor is relevant, I didn't want that to become the focus of the site, nor do I want infertility to become the focus.  I want the focus to be prayer, women supporting and encouraging women, and most importantly GOD.  He is the reason the new forum exists.    
 
Feel free to take a look at my site...pass it along to anyone you feel might be interested. 

***And please be gentle...this is my heart out there!