February 5, 2010

Better...more focused.

Thank you to everyone for your kind words the other day.  I don't know fully what was going on, but thankfully I'm feeling much better.  Part of it might have been hormonal.  I stopped the Pill in November, when Matt moved back in, and haven't had AF since then.  My body is probably freaking out and going back into full blown PCOS mode, which really depresses me.

I did take the suggestion made by a few of you to just make a list of what I was feeling overwhelmed with and decide which tasks could wait and which were the more pressing issues.  I usually have a few "to do" lists going at a time, and lists prioritizing which list comes first, and lists of which of the items on the first priority list gets done first.  Time to simplify maybe?  LOL 

Yesterday morning, while my sick husband slept off the most recent dose of Nyquil and antibiotics, I spent an hour in the quiet solitude of our home office reading my Bible, praying, and studying a few topics out of a Bible reading guide.  It was during that time that I felt a quiet calm wash over me.  I saw the fuzzy haze I felt I was looking through slowly shifting back into focus.  I believe now that my "off" feeling was God tapping me on the shoulder as if to say "Hey, remember me?  I'd like to spend some time with you." 

I spent the rest of the day catching up on the things that needed the most attention, and those that didn't get done I'm not stressing over.  I managed to get the "office" a little more organized, the mountainous pile of junk mail sorted, bills paid and filed, , and finished knitting the last of the baby gifts for Niki's twins.  I'm headed out later to ship them to her.  I can't wait for her to get them, I hope she likes them!   

It's a strange and new feeling for me to write about my faith and religion so openly.  I don't want to come across as a preachy Bible-thumping crazy woman, but I just can't deny the changes that have occurred in my life since I opened my heart to God again.  That's not to say that all my questions have been answered, or that my life is suddenly perfect rainbows and bluebirds.  The issues I struggle with are still there.  I have just learned that if I slow down for a moment, "let go and let God" if you will, that what seems so heavy and debilitating slowly becomes a little lighter and more manageable.  At least for me.  I'm trying to understand that He has a plan for me, and that if I ask...He will lead me in the direction I need to go.   
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path(s)."  Proverbs 3:5-6


  1. So glad that you're feeling some better! And I completely understand...sometime the very best thing that I can do for myself is let it all go for a while and spend some time with God. :)

    You've been (and will continue to be) in my prayers. Take care of YOU!

  2. Hey! What's wrong with Bible-thumping lunatics? We're not ALL bad...

    I'm glad you're feeling better. And please remember that a Christ-centered life does not mean a problem-less life. We all still have our same problems, but with God, we don't have to deal with them alone.

    Love you!

  3. I, for one, love reading about how your relationship with God is growing and how you're getting re-focused. It does me good and reminds me how very much He desires for us to seek him. Thank you for sharing, and keep it coming!

  4. I love what you say about God tapping you on the shoulder to spend some time together.
    I often feel I'm a closeted Christian too & have felt much comfort in finding God in all of this.
    Sorry for your trials. Hope this larger community makes it slightly better.


Thank you for taking the time to share your comments and insight with me, for being a part of my journey on The Road, and for allowing me to be a part of yours...come back soon!