Well, I am doing something that I never in my wildest dreams thought I would do. I am asking my friends and family to help me change, and possibly save, my life.
Everyone that knows me knows that I have struggled with my weight all my life. I was chubby through childhood, overweight as a teen, and became obese and now morbidly obese as an adult. My weight has skyrocketed the past several years due to PCOS, infertility treatments, depression surrounding my weight/infertility/miscarriages, and an increasingly sedentary lifestyle due to arthritis in my knee and back making it difficult and extremely painful to move around. I've never been anything *close* to an athlete, but I used to be able to get out and DO things. Matt and I would ride bikes together, go to the zoo, walk around the mall for hours, and just basically enjoy life together. Now I can barely walk to the car without hurting and being out of breath from my asthma. I cannot walk through the store to do the grocery shopping anymore. I have resorted to using the motorized carts when I do work up the courage to leave the house and shop. Do you have any idea how embarrassing and humiliating it is to be "that woman"? I've let myself get so fat that I can't even carry my own body weight through Wal-Mart for 10 minutes. I only go to certain restaurants and theaters because I know they have chairs that can accommodate me. I am in pain constantly. My back hurts, my hips hurt, my knees scream in pain every minute of every day. I have asthma and difficulty breathing with exertion, I have to use a shower chair because I can't stand up long enough to take a shower. I can't enjoy a bath like a normal person because I'm too large to fit into the bathtub. Too wide for a bathtub! Can you imagine that? Truly? I have obstructive sleep apnea and have to use a CPAP machine to keep from choking to death in my sleep. I can't tell you when the last time I felt good about myself was. What is worse is I am afraid every night when I go to bed that I won't wake up. I fear that I am going to die if I don't do something drastic, and soon. I have tried diets. I have tried weight loss pills. I have tried Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, prescription (and non-prescription) diet pills, shakes, bars, starving myself, you name it I've probably tried it. Things seem to work for a while and then I always plateau and gain back more than I lost in the first place.
My only hope of ever having a living child is to lose this weight. All Matt and I have wanted since we met was to grow old together and raise a family together. Due to the excess weight exacerbating my pain and social anxiety issues, I have become an unhappy, sedentary, crabby person that I never wanted to become. The real me, the true authentic ME is a happy, compassionate, active, giving and loving woman. The real me is buried deep inside over 250 pounds of excess weight and physical / emotional barriers, keeping me trapped from being the ME that God intended me to be.
I have decided to have weight loss surgery. I need to have weight loss surgery. However, my insurance doesn't cover anything related to weight loss surgery. I need to raise $20,000.00 in order to pay for this.I know times are hard. I know it's not "cool" to ask for money. But, nothing ventured...nothing gained, right? If you feel led to, please consider donating to my cause.
I have set up a fundraising page at GoFundMe.com. Click here to view, share and donate.