One year ago today, my husband was moving out and we were preparing to end our marriage.
One year ago today, my heart was shattering.
One year later, by the grace of God and hard work by us, our marriage is stronger than it's ever been. Because we didn't give up.
One year later we are packing up the house we used to call home and moving together to a new place, toward our future together.
The irony is not lost on me that this is occurring on the exact same weekend as our separation.
What a difference one year can make.
I thank God everyday for the man I am blessed to call my husband. My life. My love. My all. My home. I pray that I am able, for the rest of my days, to come home to you, and never give up.
August 5, 2010
July 30, 2010
Home is where the heart is...
Wow, I've managed to make it almost a month without posting. I am alive, contrary to popular belief.
It's been a crazy few weeks. Good and bad, fun and stressful. But, I'm somehow managing to make it through it all with a remarkably positive attitude. Maybe I'm just deluding myself, but I prefer to think I'm just learning to handle the heat with grace...with a lot of help from The Man Upstairs.
On the good end of things, Matt and I are close to finishing up our Confirmation classes. We have three more classes and our Confirmation is scheduled for August 22. Not that I'm glad that the classes are ending, because I'm not. I have really enjoyed them. A lot more than I thought I would. I have learned so much and feel like I've grown in my faith more than I could have without taking them. I'm so glad we chose this particular church to attend back in December. I feel we were led there for a reason. I believe it is where we are supposed to be.
Also on the good tally...I'm almost done with the baby gifts I've been knitting. I'm pretty sure she's due in the next couple of weeks so I need to get my hiney in gear and get them done. As usual, pics and details will be posted when I know she has received them so the surprise isn't spoiled! I've had a lot of fun working on these baby gifts, not only because they are for a good friend, but also because they are totally new patterns to me. It's always interesting to go out on a limb and not know how something is going to turn out only to be happily surprised when the end product rocks!
And now for the not so good.
We are moving.
We pretty much have to.
They're foreclosing on our house.
Now before you get all upset, we are looking at this in a positive light. I know that might sound mighty Pollyanna of me, and you might be wanting to scream at me to take off these damned rose colored glasses I must be looking through, but that's not the case. We have been teetering on the brink of foreclosure for over two years now. We're simply victims of this crapass economy. I've been working my ass off trying to work repayment plans, making double mortgage payments, working overtime to make ends meet and we finally came to the conclusion that we can't do it anymore. We're both tired of fighting for something that isn't worth our sanity and stress. We haven't been happy in this house for a while. There are so many repairs that need to be done that we simply don't have the money or knowledge to do, and we certainly can't afford to pay anyone to do them. We decided we would rather walk away now and make a fresh start. Yes it's going to damage my credit, but honestly...there's not much more damage that can be done. It already sucks.
This is not an end. It's a beginning. A new start in a new place where BOTH of our names are on the lease (I bought the house before we met). A place where we can start over that holds no memories of "before we were married" or "when we were separated". A place where we can begin anew, together. We both like the idea of that. And our theory is: home is where we are together. I know a lot of people have this image of the "American Dream" of the house, yard, picket fence, all that jazz. That used to be my dream too. But dreams change. People change. We just can't keep up with the maintenance inside and out. And we don't want to.
So last week we started looking for apartments. We found a few that we liked and went to look at one in person on Tuesday. We both liked it and put an application on it (credit, employment and reference check). We got the call yesterday that we got it! I was so relieved. It's a really cute place. It's about 150 sq ft larger than our current home (most of that is because of a HUGE kickass kitchen!), and it's about $200 bucks cheaper a month. A bonus is that we only have to move about a mile away!
What's very strange to me in all of this is that I'm not upset about it. I feel like I "should" be just beside myself. When I think about this situation, all I feel is relief and peace. I've given the situation to God in prayer and trusted Him to provide. And He has.
So now the fun begins...packing and moving to our "new home". Wish us luck!!!
It's been a crazy few weeks. Good and bad, fun and stressful. But, I'm somehow managing to make it through it all with a remarkably positive attitude. Maybe I'm just deluding myself, but I prefer to think I'm just learning to handle the heat with grace...with a lot of help from The Man Upstairs.
On the good end of things, Matt and I are close to finishing up our Confirmation classes. We have three more classes and our Confirmation is scheduled for August 22. Not that I'm glad that the classes are ending, because I'm not. I have really enjoyed them. A lot more than I thought I would. I have learned so much and feel like I've grown in my faith more than I could have without taking them. I'm so glad we chose this particular church to attend back in December. I feel we were led there for a reason. I believe it is where we are supposed to be.
Also on the good tally...I'm almost done with the baby gifts I've been knitting. I'm pretty sure she's due in the next couple of weeks so I need to get my hiney in gear and get them done. As usual, pics and details will be posted when I know she has received them so the surprise isn't spoiled! I've had a lot of fun working on these baby gifts, not only because they are for a good friend, but also because they are totally new patterns to me. It's always interesting to go out on a limb and not know how something is going to turn out only to be happily surprised when the end product rocks!
And now for the not so good.
We are moving.
We pretty much have to.
They're foreclosing on our house.
Now before you get all upset, we are looking at this in a positive light. I know that might sound mighty Pollyanna of me, and you might be wanting to scream at me to take off these damned rose colored glasses I must be looking through, but that's not the case. We have been teetering on the brink of foreclosure for over two years now. We're simply victims of this crapass economy. I've been working my ass off trying to work repayment plans, making double mortgage payments, working overtime to make ends meet and we finally came to the conclusion that we can't do it anymore. We're both tired of fighting for something that isn't worth our sanity and stress. We haven't been happy in this house for a while. There are so many repairs that need to be done that we simply don't have the money or knowledge to do, and we certainly can't afford to pay anyone to do them. We decided we would rather walk away now and make a fresh start. Yes it's going to damage my credit, but honestly...there's not much more damage that can be done. It already sucks.
This is not an end. It's a beginning. A new start in a new place where BOTH of our names are on the lease (I bought the house before we met). A place where we can start over that holds no memories of "before we were married" or "when we were separated". A place where we can begin anew, together. We both like the idea of that. And our theory is: home is where we are together. I know a lot of people have this image of the "American Dream" of the house, yard, picket fence, all that jazz. That used to be my dream too. But dreams change. People change. We just can't keep up with the maintenance inside and out. And we don't want to.
So last week we started looking for apartments. We found a few that we liked and went to look at one in person on Tuesday. We both liked it and put an application on it (credit, employment and reference check). We got the call yesterday that we got it! I was so relieved. It's a really cute place. It's about 150 sq ft larger than our current home (most of that is because of a HUGE kickass kitchen!), and it's about $200 bucks cheaper a month. A bonus is that we only have to move about a mile away!
What's very strange to me in all of this is that I'm not upset about it. I feel like I "should" be just beside myself. When I think about this situation, all I feel is relief and peace. I've given the situation to God in prayer and trusted Him to provide. And He has.
So now the fun begins...packing and moving to our "new home". Wish us luck!!!
July 1, 2010
Blogger's block
I hate having blogger's block.
And even more, I hate not having anything to say.
I'm still here...
Knitting my heart out on another baby gift, reading my Bible, taking confirmation classes with Matt at church, working, and all that other boring stuff.
I'm just having a dry spell right now.
Hopefully it will end soon, I hate being the boring one in the bunch.
And even more, I hate not having anything to say.
I'm still here...
Knitting my heart out on another baby gift, reading my Bible, taking confirmation classes with Matt at church, working, and all that other boring stuff.
I'm just having a dry spell right now.
Hopefully it will end soon, I hate being the boring one in the bunch.
June 21, 2010
ICLW ~ June 2010
Hello friends and fellow travelers!
It's that time again, time for the bloggy love-fest known as ICLW! (If you're uncertain what I'm talking about, check out the little red box in the right sidebar...you'll find all you need to know there!). If you're a new visitor, you can check out my backstory on the "Welcome Friends" tab on the top of the page. I just love ICLW, last month I was introduced to so many new blogs, I can barely keep up with them all in my Google Reader! Even though I might not comment everyday, I do try my hardest to keep you all read! I'm hoping to add even more readers and blogs this month!
I'd like to thank you all for your condolences on the passing of my Aunt Helen. She truly was a remarkable woman. A woman that I'm learning a lot from, even in death. I find it sad that sometimes in our lives we don't know, understand, or truly comprehend how amazing the people in our lives really are until they are gone. Don't get me wrong, I've always admired and loved Aunt Helen...but hearing so many stories of how much she touched others' lives, well, it kind of makes me sad that I didn't know all those things about her before she was taken from us by the evil disease of Alzheimer's. She was gone for so long before she was truly gone, if that makes sense. My Aunt Judy said this weekend that she can finally feel Aunt Helen around us again. It made total sense...for so long there was this cloudy emptiness where Aunt Helen used to be. I know and am so happy that she is finally at peace, reunited with the great loves of her life, my Uncle Carl and her beloved puppies Choco and Lucky.
OK, before I get all maudlin and reminiscent again, let's get to this month's ICLW intro!
THE ABC's OF ME ~ ICLW STYLE:
A is for ALAN'S STEPMOM.
B is for BOOKS, one of my few addictions and pleasures in life.
C is for CHRISTIAN.
D is for DETERMINED.
E is for ECCENTRIC.
F is for FREE-SPIRITED.
G is for GIVING.
H is for HONEST.
I is for INFERTILE.
J is for JOVIAL.
K is for KNITTER.
L is for LUTHERAN, my chosen denomination.
M is for MATT'S WIFE. :)
N is for NOSTALGIC.
O is for ORIGINAL.
P is for PASSIONATE. (also POOKIE, which is my hubby's nickname for me!)
Q is for QUIET...something I'm usually NOT!
R is for RARE.
S is for SIMPLE.
T is for TERRIFIC.
U is for UNORGANIZED.
V is for VIVACIOUS.
W is for WILLFUL.
X is for XENOPHOBIC (to a degree).
Y is for YAPPY.
Z is for ZAFTIG.
HAPPY ICLW EVERYONE! Now go get to commenting!!!
It's that time again, time for the bloggy love-fest known as ICLW! (If you're uncertain what I'm talking about, check out the little red box in the right sidebar...you'll find all you need to know there!). If you're a new visitor, you can check out my backstory on the "Welcome Friends" tab on the top of the page. I just love ICLW, last month I was introduced to so many new blogs, I can barely keep up with them all in my Google Reader! Even though I might not comment everyday, I do try my hardest to keep you all read! I'm hoping to add even more readers and blogs this month!
I'd like to thank you all for your condolences on the passing of my Aunt Helen. She truly was a remarkable woman. A woman that I'm learning a lot from, even in death. I find it sad that sometimes in our lives we don't know, understand, or truly comprehend how amazing the people in our lives really are until they are gone. Don't get me wrong, I've always admired and loved Aunt Helen...but hearing so many stories of how much she touched others' lives, well, it kind of makes me sad that I didn't know all those things about her before she was taken from us by the evil disease of Alzheimer's. She was gone for so long before she was truly gone, if that makes sense. My Aunt Judy said this weekend that she can finally feel Aunt Helen around us again. It made total sense...for so long there was this cloudy emptiness where Aunt Helen used to be. I know and am so happy that she is finally at peace, reunited with the great loves of her life, my Uncle Carl and her beloved puppies Choco and Lucky.
OK, before I get all maudlin and reminiscent again, let's get to this month's ICLW intro!
THE ABC's OF ME ~ ICLW STYLE:
A is for ALAN'S STEPMOM.
B is for BOOKS, one of my few addictions and pleasures in life.
C is for CHRISTIAN.
D is for DETERMINED.
E is for ECCENTRIC.
F is for FREE-SPIRITED.
G is for GIVING.
H is for HONEST.
I is for INFERTILE.
J is for JOVIAL.
K is for KNITTER.
L is for LUTHERAN, my chosen denomination.
M is for MATT'S WIFE. :)
N is for NOSTALGIC.
O is for ORIGINAL.
P is for PASSIONATE. (also POOKIE, which is my hubby's nickname for me!)
Q is for QUIET...something I'm usually NOT!
R is for RARE.
S is for SIMPLE.
T is for TERRIFIC.
U is for UNORGANIZED.
V is for VIVACIOUS.
W is for WILLFUL.
X is for XENOPHOBIC (to a degree).
Y is for YAPPY.
Z is for ZAFTIG.
HAPPY ICLW EVERYONE! Now go get to commenting!!!
June 19, 2010
Celebrating a Life Lived Well
My Great Aunt passed away this week. She had been in a nursing home for 4.5 years, suffering the effects of Alzheimer's disease. For the past two years, at least, she had no idea who any of us were, and lived in a world of her own thoughts that she could not communicate to the outside world. As you will read in the following remembrance that I would like to share with you, this disease seemed even more tragic and unfair when it struck Aunt Helen because she was a woman with a quick wit, a sharp mind, and a passion for life and service to God and humankind. She was the first woman in our family to attend college, obtained a Masters degree in Education (in the 30's when it was still rare for a woman to even go to college!), and spent a long life dedicated to the education of children, support of the arts and animals, and charity to those in need. Aunt Helen was a teacher for 39 years. Several of her former students came to her visitation this weekend to pay their respects and I was amazed at the way this woman touched lives. She inspired countless numbers of her students to become teachers themselves, and two of her former students have become Judges. As the minister said during her eulogy today, "Aunt Helen is still teaching children through the children she inspired to become teachers".
There is no better testament to the legacy this woman left behind than to serve as she served, love as she loved, live as she lived. And do it well.
Now I'd like to share with you a memorial my Grandmother wrote, in remembrance of her sister.
A teacher by nature, she had a natural curiosity that couldn't be curbed. Once, as the adults sat at the dining table, she snuck up behind her grandfather with a ruler to measure his somewhat large ears! Her mother chastised the young lady, but she couldn't resist. She was thrilled by the alphabet and how it could be used to improve verbal discourse, and truth be told Mother and family sometimes tired of the constant practice! Yes, Helen was vocal, at a time when children were to be seen and not heard. She wasn't disobedient, she was...enthusiastic.
When she was old enough to attend school (at the worldly age of six) she was adamant about her goal: she was going to be a teacher! She was an excellent student, and had a love affair with learning from the first day. Helen graduated from Pond Grade School, as valedictorian.
In addition to learning, Helen had a deep love a music that would last her whole life. She had already stretched her musical ability to include church choir, but the highlight of our adolescent lives was the $25 piano our Mom managed to purchase!
She entered Eureka High School, where she considered applying and expanding her skills an adventure. As the years progressed her commitment to learning grew and her ambitions were fired with the encouragement from a special friend, Miss Salfronk, a teacher who lived in our neighborhood. Her enthusiasm was rewarded and in 1939's graduating exercised at Eureka High School she was presented with the title of Valedictorian.
The next hurdle would be college, where she would move to an entirely different environment and meet a variety of new people. Would she fit in? She entered Harris Teacher's College in the fall of 1939. Determined, she secured more confidence by joining the dramatic club. She pledged to Theta-Sigma Upsilon sorority in 1940 and remained actively involved with the friends she made there for most of her life.
In 1943, her dream came true. She began a 39 year career as an elementary school teacher with the St. Louis School District at Mullanphy School. She became an active member of the Board of Education, and joined and served the PTA, which recognized her commitment with a lifetime membership in 1969. While working she attended the University of Missouri (1946-1949) where she earned her Masters degree. Her devotion to the education of our youth did not go unnoticed and she received the Reader's Digest Certificate of Scholastic Achievement Award, as well as being recognized as the Outstanding Leader in Elementary and Secondary Education in 1976.
Though immersed in teaching, her love of music remained. She belonged to the St. Louis Bach Society from 1945-1947, The Philharmonic Chorus from 1948-1949, and was the director of the Mullanphy Elementary School Choir. At a choir rehearsal at Powell Symphony Hall, she met the love of her life, Carl Scheller. They shared music, and a deep awareness of the needs of others, especially young children. They married January 26, 1952. Helen and Carl joined the Webster Groves Presbyterian Church, where they immediately joined the choir. Carl was active with the Shriners, and they both volunteered their time and talents to events and parades. They shared a love of travel as well, and made trips that included France, Scotland and Ireland.
Helen always looked for ways to help others. She was a volunteer at the St. Louis State Mental Hospital from 1958-1967, and after she retired from teaching, she spent many years donating her time at the Mary Queen Mother Center. She supported the Muny Opera in St. Louis, as well as the St. Louis Zoo. In her “free time” she tutored children that lived on her block and gave many children piano lessons.
She employed the same determination that motivated her scholastic and professional achievements to draw her into friendships as a child and an adult. Her love and deep sense of family was unwavering and ever apparent to her siblings, nieces, nephews, great-nieces and nephews, and all who knew her.
Helen was an essential part of our lives for three generations.
We will all miss her friendship, humor, love and generosity.
(Written by my grandmother, Ruth Ekstrom, reminiscing of her sister)
There is no better testament to the legacy this woman left behind than to serve as she served, love as she loved, live as she lived. And do it well.
Now I'd like to share with you a memorial my Grandmother wrote, in remembrance of her sister.
Celebrating a Life Lived Well
In remembrance of
Helen Margaret (Athey) Scheller
November 20, 1920 - June 16, 2010
Helen Athey was born with the “gift of gab”. She was always much more outspoken and daring than other members of her large family. Born November 20, 1920, she was the fifth of eight siblings: Jessie, Wilson (who tragically died of complications following measles), Bertha, Raymond and Roy (“the twins”), Edward and Ruth. Her father and mother, Charles and Carrie, were hard working and strict but the children understood the meaning of family and the siblings remained close and pulled together in times of both sadness and joy.
A teacher by nature, she had a natural curiosity that couldn't be curbed. Once, as the adults sat at the dining table, she snuck up behind her grandfather with a ruler to measure his somewhat large ears! Her mother chastised the young lady, but she couldn't resist. She was thrilled by the alphabet and how it could be used to improve verbal discourse, and truth be told Mother and family sometimes tired of the constant practice! Yes, Helen was vocal, at a time when children were to be seen and not heard. She wasn't disobedient, she was...enthusiastic.
When she was old enough to attend school (at the worldly age of six) she was adamant about her goal: she was going to be a teacher! She was an excellent student, and had a love affair with learning from the first day. Helen graduated from Pond Grade School, as valedictorian.
In addition to learning, Helen had a deep love a music that would last her whole life. She had already stretched her musical ability to include church choir, but the highlight of our adolescent lives was the $25 piano our Mom managed to purchase!
She entered Eureka High School, where she considered applying and expanding her skills an adventure. As the years progressed her commitment to learning grew and her ambitions were fired with the encouragement from a special friend, Miss Salfronk, a teacher who lived in our neighborhood. Her enthusiasm was rewarded and in 1939's graduating exercised at Eureka High School she was presented with the title of Valedictorian.
The next hurdle would be college, where she would move to an entirely different environment and meet a variety of new people. Would she fit in? She entered Harris Teacher's College in the fall of 1939. Determined, she secured more confidence by joining the dramatic club. She pledged to Theta-Sigma Upsilon sorority in 1940 and remained actively involved with the friends she made there for most of her life.
In 1943, her dream came true. She began a 39 year career as an elementary school teacher with the St. Louis School District at Mullanphy School. She became an active member of the Board of Education, and joined and served the PTA, which recognized her commitment with a lifetime membership in 1969. While working she attended the University of Missouri (1946-1949) where she earned her Masters degree. Her devotion to the education of our youth did not go unnoticed and she received the Reader's Digest Certificate of Scholastic Achievement Award, as well as being recognized as the Outstanding Leader in Elementary and Secondary Education in 1976.
Though immersed in teaching, her love of music remained. She belonged to the St. Louis Bach Society from 1945-1947, The Philharmonic Chorus from 1948-1949, and was the director of the Mullanphy Elementary School Choir. At a choir rehearsal at Powell Symphony Hall, she met the love of her life, Carl Scheller. They shared music, and a deep awareness of the needs of others, especially young children. They married January 26, 1952. Helen and Carl joined the Webster Groves Presbyterian Church, where they immediately joined the choir. Carl was active with the Shriners, and they both volunteered their time and talents to events and parades. They shared a love of travel as well, and made trips that included France, Scotland and Ireland.
Helen always looked for ways to help others. She was a volunteer at the St. Louis State Mental Hospital from 1958-1967, and after she retired from teaching, she spent many years donating her time at the Mary Queen Mother Center. She supported the Muny Opera in St. Louis, as well as the St. Louis Zoo. In her “free time” she tutored children that lived on her block and gave many children piano lessons.
She employed the same determination that motivated her scholastic and professional achievements to draw her into friendships as a child and an adult. Her love and deep sense of family was unwavering and ever apparent to her siblings, nieces, nephews, great-nieces and nephews, and all who knew her.
Helen was an essential part of our lives for three generations.
We will all miss her friendship, humor, love and generosity.
(Written by my grandmother, Ruth Ekstrom, reminiscing of her sister)
June 11, 2010
A giveaway!
Who doesn't like free stuff?
I know I LOVE free stuff!
Who loves the adorable things kids say?
I know I LOVE it!
Who thinks their best friend in the whole wide world just ROCKS?
I know I DO!!!
And where else can you find all three of these things wrapped up in one handy little blog?
Well, on a Purple Brick Road, that's where!!!
The author of A Purple Brick Road is my best friend Kelly. And she rocks. A lot. For more reasons than I can list here. And she has two of the most adorable kids on the planet. Seriously. The stinkin' cutest. kids. EVER. And while you might think I'm biased just because I've known her from the day she was born (literally), well...ok, I might be. Just a little. :)
Honestly though, Kelly is quite an awesome person. And she's quite talented, in many many aspects. Right now she is giving away some handmade cards on her blog. Head on over there and have a peek and enter to win them!
GOOD LUCK!!!
I know I LOVE free stuff!
Who loves the adorable things kids say?
I know I LOVE it!
Who thinks their best friend in the whole wide world just ROCKS?
I know I DO!!!
And where else can you find all three of these things wrapped up in one handy little blog?
Well, on a Purple Brick Road, that's where!!!
The author of A Purple Brick Road is my best friend Kelly. And she rocks. A lot. For more reasons than I can list here. And she has two of the most adorable kids on the planet. Seriously. The stinkin' cutest. kids. EVER. And while you might think I'm biased just because I've known her from the day she was born (literally), well...ok, I might be. Just a little. :)
Honestly though, Kelly is quite an awesome person. And she's quite talented, in many many aspects. Right now she is giving away some handmade cards on her blog. Head on over there and have a peek and enter to win them!
GOOD LUCK!!!
June 3, 2010
Take a few more steps with me...
A couple of months ago I wrote this post chronicling the first few steps I had taken down the road I'm on. The first steps of accepting the help of others, of finding my way back to God, of allowing God to work within me to heal my heart and of finding my purpose in life in the absence of my own desires.
It hasn't all been a smooth, straight shot. Life is still a little rough around the edges, and there are many things I need to release, some I need to accept, and more lessons I need to learn. There have been setbacks, there has been denial and resistance.
But there has also been peace. Happiness. Love. Trust. Things I didn't believe I could feel again.
Because I allowed them a place to grow.
I asked God to help me release what was holding me back in my life, what I was holding on to that was darkening the very core of my soul.
The seedlings of faith, healing, and complete surrender are taking root in my heart and in my life...and it's an amazing feeling.
It's a little disconcerting sometimes to not have that death-grip of control over every little thing that happens. It's hard to not want to hold on to the anger, the bitterness, the jealousy, the self-pity. Because as much as I do want to hold on to them (because they are familiar, they are what I know, they are what I'm used to, they are as comfortable to me as a worn pair of pajamas) I know they are not healthy. They are not conducive to the new life I have been given. They are not what God wants in my heart. And they are not what I want in my heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Matt and I had a meeting on Wednesday with the pastor of the church we have been attending to talk to him about becoming members there. Pastor T is just awesome. I love his ministering style, his sermons are always relevant, and he is just an all around nice guy. Anyway, we talked at length about us joining and we learned that another couple are also interested in joining as well. The four of us will be taking the instructional classes to become new members starting next Friday. :) I'm really excited about it. I was raised in the Methodist church, so I am very interested in learning all I can about the Lutheran faith. Matt will be taking the classes with me, even though he was confirmed as a teenager. Pastor T recommends that anyway, to re-take the classes as an adult, because there is so much more one can get from them after they have some life experience under their belt. Even if he didn't recommend it, Matt was going to take them anyway, to support me through them. Have I mentioned lately that my husband rocks? :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am still chugging along with my "Bible Cover to Cover" project. I started in January reading straight through the Bible and am now starting 2 Chronicles. It's been a true learning experience for me, because I've never read the Bible straight through cover to cover before. I've read snippets and stories and learned verses as most people that were "raised in church" have. But to dive in headfirst from "In the beginning...", it's a totally different thing. I'm really enjoying it. My best friend joined an online group in January that was reading the Bible in 90 Days. There's another group starting in July, and I'm considering joining along, but I'm still not sure. I need to do a little more thinking and praying about it. One reason I'm hesitant is that we will be right in the middle of our instructional classes at church, and I'm not sure I want to take away from that or from the Bible by trying to do too much at once. We'll see.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of people have asked where we are on the TTC/adoption front, so I thought I would update that as well. We're pretty much at a standstill with it all. We've submitted our application for homestudy and review for the adoption through DFS, but we still haven't heard if we are going to be able to get into the foster/adopt class this fall. Everything is up in the air. I did also send off for an informational packet from an adoption agency I heard of and I received that the other day. It seems promising, but it's still a long way off for us I'm afraid. Their fees alone are $19,500. That doesn't include homestudy fees, our lawyer to finalize the adoption, any other expenses that need to be paid. That's just to match us and facilitate the adoption. It all makes me want to cry honestly. It's been such a long road, why does it have to be so expensive too? I just don't know what our next step is. We have a lot of praying to do there as well. TTC is pretty much nonexistent right now as AF has been MIA for some time. I have an appointment in June for my yearly exam at the gyno, and I will be discussing some options with him then. For right now, I'm trying to focus on getting this blasted PCOS under control and losing some weight. Both of them are enough to make me crazy. I've been prescribed Metformin for my PCOS for years, but haven't taken it for quite a while. I don't have a valid reason, I just haven't taken it. So that is step #1 I guess, get started back on the Metformin and see what happens with that and some weight loss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And there you have it. The good, bad and indifferent of what's been going on with me.
How are you?
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