April 7, 2017

Right Now

Right Now I'm...

Reading: The Fiery Cross (Outlander Series, #5) by Diana Gabaldon.  Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado.  Captivating: Unveiling The Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John and Stasi Eldridge.  Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young.
Just finished re-reading The Shack by William Paul Young and waiting to see the movie with my Mom.

Watching: Just watched the series finale of Bones the other night. I was seriously bummed when I heard this was the final season. I've loved Bones since the first episode, and loved the books the series was based on as well. Getting ready to cue up last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy...although, after the heartwrenching episode last week I'm not sure if I should or not! (Major Daddy dying triggers in the last episode.)  Have you seen This Is Us? If you haven't, you're seriously missing out! I think it's the most real show I've seen in forever. There was not a single episode that didn't touch me in some way, shape, or form. There were definitely a lot of emotional triggers in the whole season, but in a weird way, each episode helped me deal with "something". Just watch it. Seriously.

Following: Daniel Euan Henderson on YouTube. I think I stumbled upon a video of his on Facebook one time and I've been a fan ever since. He's an adorable Scottish guy who does these short "motivational" videos. He's a riot! He also has some serious videos about depression, anxiety, and overcoming your own obstacles. And his accent! Just go watch him!

Eating: A lot healthier! That will be a series of posts in an of itself, but suffice it to say I've been improving my eating habits in order to heal some chronic health issues I've been dealing with. All in all, it's going pretty well. More on that later!

Wearing: Sweatpants, a t-shirt, and warm fuzzy socks. I'm on vacation, I can wear what I want!

Recuperating: Mentally and emotionally, still from Daddy's death. I have years' worth of writing to do on that topic, trust me. I will eventually get around to putting all my feelings into words here. I just need a bit of time. Physically, my back and knee are getting a tad bit better, mainly from my better eating, more activity, and some good pain pills (finally!).

Wondering: How many readers I have and what I'll post next...

Looking Forward: To the next TWELVE days of vacation time!!!

Enjoying: Not having to go to work for the next twelve days! hahaha

Planning: Lots of work around the house for the next twelve days of vacation. My mom and I will be getting some things organized, pictures hung (finally...we've only lived here two and a half years already and don't have a damn thing hung up!), the garden started, flowerbeds and memory garden built...so many things I'm tired just thinking about it!

I stole this little meme from my friend to get me back in the groove of blogging again.

Thanks for reading!

Have a great Friday night!


March 26, 2017

My Dad

May 12, 2015.

The day my world was forever changed.

That was the day my Dad was diagnosed with liver cancer.

Three months and fourteen days later, on August 26, 2015 at 3:50 p.m. my precious Daddy took his last breath and died.

I haven't been able to find a way to get myself to write about it until now, and even now it's hard to get the words from my heart and brain into the keyboard and onto the screen.

I talk about his death in person and on Facebook all the time. But to actually sit down and write about his diagnosis, illness, and death? For some reason it's been nearly impossible for me to make myself do that.

I recently started seeing a counselor to help me deal with my ongoing grief and some other issues. She suggested it might be time to start writing about Dad.

So here I am.

Starting small.

My Daddy died. 

Damn it how I miss him.

Like a bad penny...I keep turning up.

So, I haven't dusted off the old blog and posted in what seems like forever. About three and a half or four years.

So much has happened, but there's really no way to catch up on every little detail, so I'm not even going to try. I'm just going to start fresh and post when I can. Not like anyone still reads this thing anyway. =)

But, in the off chance that there is still anyone out there, here I am.

November 8, 2013

The Crappy Day...

Today’s been a shitty day…literally.

I woke up early…three hours before the alarm to be exact.  At first I was a little peeved because it’s my weekend off, after getting up at 4:15 am all week, I wanted to sleep in.  Hubby had a doctor’s appointment (more on that later) and I was going to take him so I could also talk to the doctor about a couple of things as well.  We see the same doctor, so it makes it easy!  Well, 6 am came and my eyes popped open and there I was.  All awake and not a lick of “sleeping-in” was to be seen.  So I played around on my phone for a little bit, checking Facebook, Twitter, sending a few words in Words with Friends, played a bit of Candy Crush, you know the drill, until my bladder couldn’t hold out any longer and I HAD to get up out of my nice warm bed.  Hubby was sleeping nicely, so I decided to throw a load of laundry in and take advantage of a little quiet time before he got up.  So there I was, in the middle of my breathing treatment, when I hear hubby bounding down the hallway yelling “turn the washer off, turn the washer off, TURN THE WASHER OFF!!!”

Part of me wanted to look at him and say “I’m sorry, do I need to turn the washer OFF?”…however the look on his face made me think twice.

Apparently, the issues we’ve been having with our septic system were not resolved by the landlord having the tank pumped like he thought.  Apparently, the whole system was clogged to high Heaven and back, because the water from the washer draining caused the toilet AND bathtub in to back up.  And overflow.  Onto the bathroom floor.  And my pretty bathroom rug.  And my gorgeous shower curtain I love.  Not just any old water.  Sewage water.  Sew. Age.  Use your imagination…and it was probably worse
So…my day was spent between shopvac-ing the poop water off the bathroom floor, cleaning the crap out of everything (literally), and waiting for the landlord to come to fix the plumbing.  He finally got here and augured every drain in the apartment (including going onto the roof and snaking out the vent stack?).  The toilet works like a charm and the drains run faster than Forrest Gump going for a touchdown.  However.  Now my washer is FUBARED.  Apparently when I had to stop it in the middle of the spin cycle, it got a little pissed at me and now refuses to work.  We think the drive belt came off or something like that.  It makes all the appropriate noises (plus a really loud grinding one) but the tub goes nowhere.  And now I have a washer full of wet clothes and six more loads waiting because of course with this being my weekend off, it was laundry day.  Tomorrow morning it will be loaded up and transported to Mommy and Daddy’s house (thank God they only live 5 miles away!) so I can do all my laundry there.

Oh yeah, the doctor’s appointments.  Poor hubby came down with the gunk I had, and he was not improving even after two rounds of antibiotics and other over the counter remedies.  He started having some trouble breathing yesterday, being really short of breath and wheezy, so he called to get in to get looked at today. Our doctor took one listen to him and said “yep, lungs are full!”  He got a lovely little steroid shot and another round of a stronger antibiotic plus some good cough medicine to help him clear his lungs up. Crazy thing is our doctor is sick with it too!  She’s on her second round of antibiotics and still sounds and feels terrible!  Seriously, whatever precautions you need to take to avoid getting this respiratory shit this year, DO IT!  It’s bad bad juju!

While we were there I asked her about my recent asthma diagnosis and what we should plan on doing for it since I’m pretty much over the pneumonia/bronchitis/avian swine zombie flu.  It wasn’t really what I wanted to hear, but she’s the doctor.  She wants to just play it by ear and see how things go with just a rescue inhaler to keep on hand if I have symptoms of a flare up (wheezing, shortness of breath, excessive coughing).  I have the nebulizer and enough medication for six breathing treatments if I need them, but she wants to see how “serious” my asthma is without having to be on a daily medication.  She said if I find myself needing a breathing treatment more than twice a week or using the rescue inhaler more than twice a day to call her and we will then talk about what kind of daily maintenance drug (such as Advair or other inhaled anti-inflammatory/corticosteroid) we will use.  I guess that’s good…one less medication to have to be on, but it also kind of worries me.  I just wanted to know that she is taking it seriously.  I mean, she’s my doctor, she takes my conditions seriously, but well, I don’t know what I mean.  LOL

Well, I have a few more things I want to write about, but I think I’ll sign off for tonight and leave those for another post over the weekend.  We're supposed to go down to hubby's friend's house tomorrow evening for a "make up" bonfire (they had one two weeks ago that I had to miss because I was so sick), and then Sunday we'll be going to church, I'll be donating blood at a local blood drive, and prepping for the week ahead!  What's on deck for your weekend?  Anything fun?

Now, though, it's time for some knitting and Doctor Who!!!

November 5, 2013

Want some cheese with that "whine"?

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth...it just feels like that some days!

I'm fighting my way back from a hellacious bout of bronchitis and pneumonia...it's been hanging on for almost three weeks now.  To say it's been "hard" or "exhausting" is an understatement.  I was out of work for almost two weeks (so long I ran out of sick time...no sick time = no pay!  I was already over $400 short on my paycheck as it was from missing work so there was no way we could survive if I missed more).  I'm slowly...and I do mean slowly...recovering. I'm so exhausted, physically and emotionally, from all of this.  I'm used to getting knocked down by colds and flu, but I can usually overcome them pretty quick.  This has knocked me on my ass, backed up, ran over me, backed up again and parked it's nasty self directly in my lungs.  And on top of the sinus infection/bronchitis/pneumonia, my doctor diagnosed me with asthma as well.  She actually believes that is the underlying cause of why this hit me so hard.  She thinks I've probably had it for a while, a few years at least, but since I haven't ever really complained of any major symptoms (other than a lot of wheezing during exertion or when I'm sick), we never diagnosed it.  She's pretty sure that since my lungs are already compromised from the asthma, it was a perfect storm for this crap to attack me so hard.  I've done two rounds of antibiotics, two rounds of steroids (AKA crazyinabottle) more DayQuil and NyQuil than any person's liver and kidneys should have to metabolize in a lifetime, and was sent home with my own handy dandy little nebulizer for breathing treatments 4x a day.  It's been 19 days and I'm STILL worn out and have to be careful not to overdo it otherwise I end up wheezing and huffing and puffing like a crazy person.  I have I think 4 or 5 days left on the breathing treatments, then I'll meet with my doctor to set up a long-term plan for the asthma diagnosis. 

I've really tried hard not to complain while I've been sick, but it's been so hard.  I just want to feel better.  I want to BREATHE!  I want to be able to walk from the couch to the bathroom without having to take a hit off the inhaler because the exertion is causing my lungs to spasm.  I am so bone tired, and so very tired of BEING tired.  I live with chronic pain due to my back (which ironically hasn't hurt a lick since I've been on steroids!), but this is a totally different kind of incapacitated. I feel like people think I'm "milking" this illness...that I "should" be better by now.  So I feel guilty when I keep saying I'm still worn out, having trouble breathing, and generally still sick.  It has done NOTHING to help the anxiety and depression I deal with on a daily basis anyway.  I've had a few really bad days, sitting on the couch in tears because I'm so depressed that I just want to FEEL BETTER!!!  Don't get me wrong, there has been minor improvement.  I can finally breathe through my nose again.  I can wear my CPAP so I can sleep again. (I went about 4 or 5 days in the beginning when I didn't sleep at all because I had so much trouble breathing.  Those were fun days I tell ya.)  But I'm still just so damn worn out.  And I'm sick of being sick.  And my husband got sick too...of course.  So, you know who got to take care of him while I was still sick, which didn't make me feel any better at all!  
Hopefully within the next week or so this will all be a thing of the past and I can move on with getting the asthma under control and back on track to my FABULOUS BY FORTY plan and training for the Chance to Hope 5K...which sadly has gone nowhere lately.  :(  

That's about all for now...just a quick catch up and hello.  I'm hoping to get back in the swing of this blogging thing...I've missed it, but still sometimes feel it's kind of pointless because I really have nothing of interest to say.  

Hope whoever's reading is doing well!

June 3, 2013

New post on the new crafty blog!

Head on over to Sticks and Strings and Sewing Things for all the knitting updates you never knew you always wanted!

I'll be back tomorrow to update here on all the other non crafty stuff going on around here!



May 29, 2013

Come visit my new crafty blog!

Hey friends!  I decided to start a new blog to journal my knitting/sewing/crafty/DIY projects...and to keep the focus of this blog more on what it was originally intended, my journey through infertility, faith, life, and marriage.  

Come see my new blog (no thrilling crafty posts up yet, but there will be soon!) 

And yes, you're welcome for that earworm.  10 points for anyone who can name the vulgar rap song the title reminds me of!  

Love y'all!