Seven years of waiting, trying, praying, despairing
Was coming to an end.
Joy radiated.
My belly rounding
The tiny bump-bump-bumps against my insides
Reminded us of life beyond our own.
My husband's hand settling to it's new favorite resting place
Touching the outer me but the inner us.
Tha-thump tha-thump blinking on the screen
Kicking flailing turning floating
Our daughter.
This miracle we were granted, this child, our child.
A baby girl.
I woke with a smile this morning with my hand still on my full belly. I could still FEEL her there. The fullness faded along with the haze of sleep. As the sunlight permeated my consciousness, I realized.
It was a dream.
There is no daughter.
I remembered.
There is no baby girl.
I cried.
Because there might never be.
Those dreams are so hard :(. I've had so many where I've given birth, held my babies in my arms, and then woken up and realized it was just a perfect, perfect dream.
ReplyDelete((Hugs))
Oh sweetie ... I'm sure it was horrible to wake from such a perfect dream. I think of you often and hope with my all that someday that dream does come true for you. ((Hugs)) from a friend.
ReplyDeleteThis was so touching to read. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteThis post gave me chills, Rebecca. It's beautiful and sad and real. Oh, how I hope your dream will become a reality one day. Wish I could give you a hug.
ReplyDelete